Animal Johnson
Drums
Animal's Bio
Born in a snow bank during a violent, yet successful Viking attack upon Lindisfarne, Animal Johnson's victorious comrades dragged the child and his proud mama back to their ship and dubbed him the warrior-of-the-voyage after one of his radiation filled diapers slew the entire pursuing enemy force. He was made the dragon ship's drummer, keeping time for the rowers by pounding out the beat on a giant animal skinned kettle drum on subsequent raids. Such was his ferocious fighting prowess, no one made mention that the entire port side of the ship's rowers were twice as strong as the starboard men, having rowed three times as many strokes on each voyage due to his lack of timekeeping ability. After an ill-conceived final Viking raid on Detroit Michigan, ( no one explained to the Viking leaders that, this being 1979 guns had been invented and axes were out-of-date) the young Viking was captured and held captive in the local zoo in the wolf exhibit. Graduating from Wolf U in 1988 and Polar Bear Community college in 1994, before escaping one scary night in 2006, using two torn off tree branches to beat down the gates. A passing bus full of college cheerleaders, witnessing the escape, rescued, educated, and introduced him to a guy named Socrates. . .
